I was in the shower a few minutes ago. I realized I turn 20 in a few days. I then realized I will have to live what I have already about 3 more times. Maybe even more. I had to get out because I needed to throw up. I’m glad I don’t get panic attacks.
I can’t imagine a future in which I’m okay with being. I can’t picture having a job I remotely enjoy. Nobody in my bed. No car. No home. No hobbies. Nothing. I can’t even imagine next week, nor can I recall the recent past.
I’m stuck in the present. It’s not like anything I’ve ever experienced. I think…
I should probably sleep.